Lighthouses and icebergs

There are so many lighthouses in my life. Especially with a decade alone in this city, there are moments when I feel like a sinking ship in the dark. These are the days when I have not done much work. Interestingly not working causes more stress to me than being busy throughout the day . I make sure that I am running, exercising or socializing so that my body and mind gets tired when I go to bed at the end of the day. Now there are days when I am very depressed especially because I have not worked enough. The worst part is I always realize about this depression during bed time and it causes unbearable insomnia. Anyways,  this one is about how I tackle these depressed states. So as I told earlier about me being a directionless ship during these days sailing in the dark. Now, I have lighthouses in my life. So my friend ‘A’ is a really nice girl. Even if she is bogged down in life, she would always smile and tell me,’ Be Positive’J. I love her persistence to be positive. Even though it does not seem to cause much incremental progress in positivity in her life, I often sympathize and become positive.  Lighthouse B is different case altogether. He appears as a chronic depressed but I like him. He talks about the concept of positive neutrality which means you should neither be positive nor negative. Accept that life is gross and its sole purpose is not always hedonic fun. I like the concept. It does not help in being positive but then I tell myself life is gross. It could have been worse. It does help me in some ways. J Now coming to my favorite lighthouse C.  C lits up my face like none does. He is someone who just needs to look at you once to cheer you up. I don’t understand what he talks but then his face has so much glow. He is less intelligent but what I love is that he knows he is less intelligent. With him life seems to be the best things that ever happened to me. It appears to me that all I want is this sort of dumbness when life gets dry and overloaded with intellect. You see there is wisdom in dumbness too. J

About icebergs I’ll talk later. Off to bed now!