Helter skelter

Have you ever realized we all are patients? Sometimes I just become stationery and see the world moving around me. People running helter –skelter in all the possible directions to find out what are they here for. Investment bankers seeing those figures going higher up, researchers just thinking how to publish more and more papers, a man I met in the hinterland working hard each day so that his son lives a better life, my best friend burning midnight oil so that she becomes an Indian beaurcrat. It seems everyone wants to run faster than yesterday. I am a slow learner. I would always come last in the hundred meter relay races where I was supposed to beat others. I never got this logic of beating up quite clearly. Also my dear daddy would ask me to chill around all the time. So we never did anything of those sorts. I still get confused when someone asks me to abide by deadlines. How can I ever produce a masterpiece if it has to meet a deadline? I would be producing an average work and if that is what is required, ask an average person. Why me? I understand that the world does not run my way. May be I am just an atom in this whole set of arrangement. Like those atoms arranged in a fashion to for diamond. If they would have been arranged differently, they would form a coal; the same carbon atoms. In chemistry exams, I would never answer it this way. The idea of getting higher marks and becoming center of attraction scared me. May be as an atom I am not supposed to know about this purpose or may be just incapable of understanding the enormity of universal existence. Just may be, I am thinking aloud. I know after finishing this post, I would also start running directionless. That is what I do when I am out of this stationery phase. I don't have many choices.