It's intersting to see how nature favours assosciation of things to create innovations.This happens in two ways;when the old sheds and when union happens.
Alchemy is so amusing. The search for gold, the coversions for something better. It's evolution into chemistry which made us believe in amalgamations to form something new. The same happens when insects moult to form a novel life form or a pre-step to that, egg to cocoon to larva to butterfly. The beautiful change, the shedding of the old to meet the exhilerating experience which life offers at each stage. How nervous larva must be inside the cocoon. The foetus who otherwise was silently laying in the womb would have such a harsh encounter with the stimulus of light falling on the pupil. How much pain must have been endured in leaving the old and meeting the new.
I wonder why god has been so biased in this change process. I have no memory of light falling on my pupil but it excites me to see the new born's reaction when it happens. How my identity would have been as an egg who was quitely sitting in the uterus or may be as a sperm who never knew that it would survive to contribute to a newer identity. It amuses me how I am sum total of all the randomness that happened in creation of my identity. I have no memory of these random encounters though but I try hard to understand it even at the cost of proving myself a fool. Well, do I care but conditioned thoughts make me think that I care but I still know I don't care.Oflate caring for larger masses have been such a utopian philanthropic thought for me and I am fed up of all philanthropies. Why god decided to make me forget all these random experiences but wished that I remember some of them? I would never ever forget the ugliest feeling I had to see the travails of my grandparents in old age. How can I ever forget my public humiliation as a kid when I would come last at 100 m race. Why can't I forget the ugliness of my assosciation with some people. Why god wants me to get a vicarious experience in certain aspects and the first hand in some?
In both the cases, I moulted to become something new. The transitions have been tough but the sail has been adventuraous. Tlhe pleasant and the unpleasant, both have contributed to my 'I' at this point of time. I am glad that I am not a monolith and I wonder how confidently and how long I wiill be using this 'I'.
