The other day I was reading an article on growing stress and anxiety amongst today’s youth. The article defined stress as a situation when all the questions related to different aspects of mind converge together. Pardon me for the trivia but it reminded me of my physics classes in standard 9th when they taught me focus-the point of convergence of all the light rays from an object; the point which made the visibility of object possible. I am discussing it here because I am writing this piece in a stressed state of mind and all the experiences of my life have converged in to bring negative connotation to the word ‘focus’ in my life. For instance, I am stressed because my supervisor has refused to give me the reference letter for my doctoral candidature and I have no clue what to do about it. To escape the stress, I call up a friend, who says when are you getting married? You are already on the wrong side of 20s. To escape this, I disconnect the call.Sinding the possible solution of this answer, I call up the guy who I am in one sided love from quite sometime thinking that subtle romance might help me in coming out of situation. He asks me for my postal address to send his wedding invitation. I get a mild heart attack after managing to congratulate him. My maid calls me up saying that she has broken her leg and she would not come for days. This is a last straw and I completely lose my head. So the point of convergence include stress factors arising due to failure to seek admission in any good university, fear of losing friends in absence of a married relationship status, losing a possible source of emotional security in a month’s time, absence of romance in life for innumerable years, fear of physical stress because of doing all the house hold tasks. I think all of them together and they appear like entangled pieces of thread. I do not know which one to solve first. I am just incapable. I see DARK and close my eyes and tell myself ‘let it go’ but my mind says how you could put your admission in peril? How could you never think of marriage by this age? Why did not you tell him that you liked him? Why the hell you kept the maid at the first place? Why are not you hardy enough to solve all the problems yourself? I am bashed continuously by this force for another fifteen minutes. I take the knife, cut the entangled pieces into millions of pieces. They included my dream too and I destroyed them all in one go.
