.!?

That loud laugh, that meek servitude, that lazy yawn, those dark black eyes, that intelligent comment, that condescending look...all the shades I see around. None is mine. I see more, look outwards to see mine...It reminds me of my recnt trip to a biodiversity park where I did bird watching. Black, red, grey, orange, white, big, tiny,...and then identifying them in my handy field bird guide. Its little differnt here. I know what I see outside but there is none to identify inside or is there none inside!!

Which one is my absolute moment? The one in the morning, that feeling of being a winner when the minute hand keeps moving and I refuse to bow down to the pressure of going to work. Five more minutes please..it's a lovely feeling. but then I am a loser when I reach to work late. That guilt comes in and I realise this is not my absolute feeling, ot my absolute moment.

Boozing, it's so much fun. Dance like mad and make few random calls to people and just blabber. It's all so plesant but again in the culprit 'guilt' spoils it all the next morning.

Eating the delecious italian food or perfect the south Indian at one of those favurite outlet at Defence colony, love it and continue lovig it till the time a pouch of flesh can be seen at my waist. The feeling is horrible. I come down again to boiled veggies.It's sad but then the reprecussions in the absence of this action would have led me into depression.

where is my best moment? My absolute moment which will just come. It won't be an absence of something. It would be an absolute presence.